Me. At least after what I've been through.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
