hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
