I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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