We won't sleep together?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
