and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
