so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
