My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
