i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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