i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
