My balls are so social today.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
