So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
