Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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