I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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