I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
