Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
