It was confusing and full of hummus
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He did a backflip because drugs
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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