i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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