i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
