i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
