Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
