He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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