she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
