i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
