i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i out mim tonsoeep
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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