We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
