Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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