I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
