so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
