why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
