Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
