hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
