Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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