I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
