no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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