Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
