Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm bleeding and have questions
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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