ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
im holly from the hills drunk
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
