I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
