I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
