DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
