Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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