hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
