1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
