i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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