trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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