'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
