just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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