I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
only you would photoshop your dick
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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