In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize