I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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