Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
