I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
