Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
