Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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