absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
