So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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