so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he thought i was a dude.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
