apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize