Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
