Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
