is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
