I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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