Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
