"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
