Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
