Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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