Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
