I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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