I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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