I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
