best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
