I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
