My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize