this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
