Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
