I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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