Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
COCAINE IS GR8
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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