He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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