WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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