apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize