Umm I'm too high to move.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
