oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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